TWO

TWOS: The helper “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for, I don’t know”
 TWOS are motivated by their need to be loved and valued and to express their positive feelings toward others. Traditionally, society has encouraged TWO qualities in females more than in males.
TWOS at their BEST are: loving, caring, adaptable, insightful, generous, enthusiastic, tuned into how people feel.
TWOS at their WORST are: martyr-like, indirect, manipulative, possessive, hysterical, overly accommodating, overly demonstrative.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME:
Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific; Share fun times with me. Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours. Let me know that I am important and special to you. Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

RELATIONSHIPS:
TWOS at their best are attentive, appreciative, generous, warm, playful, and nurturing. TWOS make their partners feel special and loved. TWOS at their worst are controlling, possessive, needy, and insincere. Since they have trouble asking directly, they tend to manipulate to get what they want.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT BEING A TWO:
• Being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
• Knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
• Being generous, caring, and warm
• Being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings
• Being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A TWO:
• Not being able to say no
• Having low self-esteem
• Feeling drained form overdoing for others
• Not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
• Criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
• Being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tune into them
• Working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS:
• Engage in some activities that give you pleasure and satisfaction but that do not involve being with others
• Exercise, meditate, and walk alone to bring the focus back to yourself
• Re-parent your inner child by talking to yourself in a nurturing and loving ways, as you would to a real child.
• Give yourself some of the attention and pampering that you usually give to others.
• Go to a counselor regularly to learn how to discuss your own problems.
• Value the love that is in your life instead of focusing on what’s missing
• Set limits: “No, this is not a good time.”
• Get in touch with your angry feelings.
• Go slowly when entering a new relationship. Get information. Be objective
• Don’t rescue people. Allow others to be responsible for their own behavior.
• Try to be your own person, not the one others want you to be.
• Refrain from automatically offering help and giving advice; wait until asked